by Crystal Gamble
It is a wonderful thing to have a giving spirit. It is commendable to have a caring heart, want to help people, and pour your best into those you love. However, this becomes detrimental when you’re giving of yourself to the point of emotional bankruptcy, and deposits of equal or greater value are not being made into your account as well.
In relationships though we strive to have a mutual exchange of give and give, the scale will not always be balanced. There will be times when you give more than your partner, and vice versa; the problem sets in when the scale continues to stays tipped indefinitely in one direction. If you find that you are constantly giving more in a relationship than you are getting, then it is time to reassess things. Eventually you will reach burn out, and start to feel resentful towards the other person.
If you feel frustration building up due to the imbalance, first, have a talk with your loved one – let them know how you feel. Maybe there may be something going on within their life, or they are oblivious to the type of love and support you need. If they genuinely love you and care, they will make the necessary adjustments to make the relationship more symbiotic.
If things still remain the same after sharing your concerns, and allowing time for change to take place, you may need to reassess whether this is a situation you want to keep pouring yourself into, or need to distance yourself from. Maybe it’s time for you to start to be a little more selfish, cut off the supply until things improve – or you find it is best to remove yourself from the equation altogether.
Your needs are important as well, and you deserve to be fulfilled. Remember that though things will not always seem “even,” you shouldn’t keep finding yourself “in the red” either. Love on others hard, but also keep in mind you deserve the same consideration, care, and love back as well.